Crucial Techniques for Counselling Students to Build Trust and Connection
What is Paraphrasing?
Mastering paraphrasing is an essential skill for individuals studying a counselling skills course. Paraphrasing is a form of rewording what the client has shared without losing the sense or meaning of what they are saying. By focusing on a underlying meaning, the listener seeks to show understanding of how the other person sees their world. This is crucial for the individual to feel understood, and on a CPCAB Level 2 Counselling Skills course is at the heart of how we communicate empathy.
As students of counselling skills there are many techniques we can use, and paraphrasing is just one of them. There is reflection, clarifying, and focusing. Collectively these form part of what is often called active listening. While all contribute to a person feeling heard and appreciated, paraphrasing has a uniquely important role to play and is incredibly powerful in developing the therapeutic connection.
If we consider that a relationship between one person and another is started through connection, then paraphrasing is a demonstration of that connection. It is an integration of the client’s experience into our experience, which is then relayed back to them. While it may not seem evident, an exchange has taken place. To paraphrase well, the listener (often referred to as the Helper) focuses on the essence of what the other person (The Helpee) is saying. The intention is to demonstrate empathy, achieved through paying close attention to the Helpee's verbal and non-verbal clues. It can be a useful and effective counselling skill, one that is practiced repeatedly on our CPCAB level 2 Counselling Skills course.
Accuracy
The degree to which a Helpee feels heard is sometimes dependent on how accurate the paraphrase is to their original meaning. It builds trust and shows you are actively listening to what the client or helpee is saying. Accuracy helps the client feel understood and heard. How often have you felt that moment when someone truly understands you. You might be surprised how this may be because they paraphrased.
Impartiality
Ideally keep your response as neutral and objective as possible. As counsellors or trainee counsellors, we are not looking to put our thoughts or feelings inside that paraphrase. As long as we are neutral, we provide the client a healthy and non-judgemental space which is essential to that therapeutic relationship. Naturally this may be easier said than done. And on a Level 2 course we can work through how to avoid as much as possible bringing in our own agendas.
Clarity
It cannot be underestimated that using clear and uncomplicated language is crucial to mastering the counselling skill of paraphrasing. There is no reason to get florid or expand on loads of different ideas; keep the language simple. In fact, we often say to our learners that if they are talking too much or trying too hard, it is perhaps better to sit back, breathe, and not take up space. These are common issues that face many learners returning to study. This is why we prize having regular weekly practical sessions where learners can continue to hone their skills. What clarity can also help with is to connect with the deeper, implict feelings of the helpee or client. For many of us, we can get lost in our own thoughts. These can get entangled, stuck, and cumbersome to unpack. Clearer perhaps even simple language can help get past this and speak closer to the heart of the issue.
Either in a therapeutic setting or in our day-to-day conversations, paraphrasing helps us connect and understand what the other person is going through. This demonstration of active listening, empathy, and realness radically improves your counselling skills and communication skills and forms a part of our CPCAB level 2 Counselling Skills course.
To learn more about how you can enhance your listening skills, develop more meaningful connections, and better understand what is truly going on for someone, open the link below.